


wish you would love me like yesterday

by URIKKIRIE



Category: TOMORROW X TOGETHER | TXT (Korea Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Angst, Joseon Dynasty, M/M, Past Lives, Reincarnation, beomjun - Freeform, sookai, taegyu
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-03-15
Updated: 2020-04-05
Packaged: 2021-02-28 21:13:33
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 17,057
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23153818
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/URIKKIRIE/pseuds/URIKKIRIE
Summary: After what felt like a century of nostalgia Beomgyu finally speaks, now brave enough to keep his sight on the taller boy, eyes filled with words left unspoken from their past life waiting to spill in this life. Beomgyu approaches him, but the other boy takes a step back. He returns an empty and unknowing look. Yeonjun does not recognize him.(soulmate au where soulmates remember their past lives together when they first meet in their current life, yet for some reason when Yeonjun met Beomgyu, he does not recognize the latter.)
Relationships: Choi Beomgyu/Choi Yeonjun
Comments: 29
Kudos: 84





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> this has been in my drafts for so long and i'm jobless now so i can finally continue this shit

_“Don’t forget this place.”_

These were the last words Beomgyu heard before he realizes that he feels like he’s underwater, drowned out sounds of people mumbling and clinking glasses are slowly clearing up in his ears like he’s being pulled out of the water, until the sounds finally clear up and turn into something distinguishable. Beomgyu is awake.

He feels the hard cover of the book he napped on against his cheeks. He tried to lift his head because it was uncomfortable, only to let out a soft groan when he feels a sharp pain on his nape, he almost rolls his eyes in the process.

“I told you not to sleep like that.” he hears a familiar voice say proceeded by the sound of someone sipping from an almost empty cup. He lifts his eyelids and sucks it up, finally lifting his head to be in a proper sitting position. His tall friend, Soobin, is still sitting across him, macchiato in one hand and his notes on the other, straw in his mouth. Beomgyu looks down and sees the two hard-cover books he used as pillows, which he was supposed to read actually. They went to the café for these books in the first place. Clearly, the coffee did not do its job on Beomgyu (or, _your body does not accept caffeine anymore,_ Soobin once said before).

They chose the table at the end of the room, Soobin seated at the chair where his back is facing the people, so Beomgyu had no choice but to sit at the last chair where he had his back against the wall with a full view of the whole café, from the door to the other customers seated. Slowly being aware of his surroundings, and the fact that he is very much openly seen by other customers, he wipes his chin with one hand in case he drooled during his nap, the back of the other hand rubbing his eye. “How long was I asleep?”

Soobin shoots a glance at his wristwatch, then back at his notebook. “About 30 minutes. I was actually worried you were gonna start snoring so I was anxious the whole time I was reading. You bug me even in your sleep.”

“How exaggerated, you know I don’t snore in my sleep.” he stretches his arms upward to wake himself up. “Anyway, you can leave now, I’ll start reading these.” he fixes his posture and throws his hands on the book on top, quickly turning the pages to where he was last reading. Soobin settles his empty cup on their table and glares at Beomgyu (who is paying him zero attention).

“What a grateful kid,” he playfully scoffs, stuffing his notebook and other things that were on the desk into his black backpack. “I stayed in this cold area of the café, watching you sleep and shivering my ass off only for you to tell me, as soon as you woke up, to leave. Not even a thanks.” Soobin stands up, him literally towering over Beomgyu because of his obnoxiously tall height, and swings the bag to his back.

“I finished your plates last night, didn’t I?” Beomgyu replies to which Soobin immediately smiles, crouching to pat Beomgyu’s head. “Exactly, that’s why I watched you get the sleep you deserve. I am so thankful.” they both break into laughter at this, Soobin standing straight back up again.

“I’m leaving now, the professor has been attending our classes earlier than usual recently. I’ll text you.” the taller quickly says and paces to the door, Beomgyu’s eyes following him until he crossed the street and was out of sight (Soobin of course bumped into a few people on his way).

“His limbs are so long he doesn’t know what to do with them.” Beomgyu snickers to himself and tears his eyes away from the corner Soobin turned to.

A falling leaf from the tree beside the café distracted Beomgyu, which urged him to take a look at the view outside.

Beomgyu wonders if autumn had always looked red one shade sadder than last year’s autumn.

The trees used to look like they held fire on their twigs, and every time the wind blows the flames drop to the ground, and spreads all over the sidewalk. The breeze sure is cold, but it had always been a reminder that the winter season - which Beomgyu had always looked forward to - is nearing. This year’s fall though, only brings him a bitter, biting cold.

Fall used to look alive. At least to Beomgyu’s eyes.

The nights he spent alone in his apartment really gave him the freedom to think, or rather, gave the thoughts the freedom to enter his head. Beomgyu understands that he’s lonely. He has come to terms with it, that he feels empty, that he knows there is something lacking, he knows there is a space to be filled. The thing is, he does not know what it is, and he feels like he’s going to lose his mind soon if he doesn’t find it.

 _‘You need to meet someone’,_ Soobin told him when Beomgyu first mentioned this problem of his to him. His tall friend was joking at the time, but it caught him off-guard, because he never thought that _that_ missing thing might be a person. Soobin was kind of right. It has been years since Beomgyu dated, and all those years were spent with his mind occupied with senior high school and university needs. So maybe, yes, Beomgyu needs to meet someone.

And Beomgyu tried. He installed numerous dating apps, went to plenty of blind dates (which he very much did not enjoy), but no one seems to interest him. So maybe Soobin is kind of wrong? In the end, Beomgyu just gave up altogether, and accepted the fact that he will never feel contented. He went back to his cycle of plates and books.

He sighs as he tears his eyes away from the glass back to the book in front of him. It’s another old novel assigned to them by their professor to finish over the weekend. It’s not exactly related to their subject, but the professor is an old man only a few months close to retiring, tired from all those years of teaching so he gives the students useless assignments just to pass time. As long as they get a few questions right then he’d give a fair grade. 

Beomgyu wonders if he’d one day lose his passion like him.

Beomgyu hopes he won’t.

His passion is the only thing that kept him running all this time. His passion served as a temporary alternative to the emptiness he felt.

As he read the book further he was slowly dragged into its false universe, like what always happens. His senses seem to tone down their functions as his mind focuses on the words imprinted on the book’s pages, forming sceneries and scenarios in his head. The sounds are drowned out, the scent of brewing coffee no longer lingering in the air, the taste of the cappuccino he ordered earlier long gone, and his sight blurring everything around except for the crisp words on the paper.

In the current page he’s on, the main character Jiseol is on her way to meet her partner for the first time. The other character is not introduced yet, but Beomgyu can tell it in the way the author was describing the scene. The surroundings so detailed; the author described how the snow fell, precisely told the readers how it felt under the characters feet, elaborated how Jiseol felt her heart beat in her chest, and that is how Beomgyu can tell. The author described it in such specific detail because it’s a very significant scene to the story. It’s something you should not, and you never will forget.

Beomgyu will most likely not forget this day either.

Beomgyu was again lost in his senses as his mind is immersed in the story, which is why when a slightly taller blue-haired boy sits across from him, on the very seat Soobin was on earlier, he does not notice him.

Not until the boy knocks on the table in between them.

Beomgyu jumps in surprise, body jumping a little as he was pulled back into consciousness by force. He lowers his book, closes his eyes and softly sighs in annoyance as it is a pet-peeve of his to be disturbed when he’s focused. When he opened his eyes, his sight was first met with the torso of the boy in front of him, body covered with layers of what seems to be carefully selected clothes; white shirt underneath a patterned sweater and a matching cardigan to top the look off. 

He then finally lifts his sight to meet the eyes of the other boy, only to be washed down with waves of realization, memories, and a heavy weight of pressure pressing against his chest, limiting his breathing capabilities.

_‘Don’t forget this place.’_

_‘All the stars we named are yours.’_

_‘Your hands are only mine.’_

His head hurts so much from the thousands of scenarios playing at the back of his mind simultaneously, tears welling up in his eyes as he remembers every single one of them, but what hurts the most is his heart. It feels like it’s being crushed between a fist and at the same time it’s clawing out of his chest.

_‘When the stars aligned, it was not a coincidence,’_

_‘Promise me you’ll find me.’_

He shut his eyes tight.

_‘The star aligned on purpose, for you,’_

Tears start to fall.

_‘Promise me you’ll wait.’_

He looked down because he couldn’t bare it anymore.

_‘The stars aligned on purpose, for us.’_

His eyes look familiar now.

_‘And I promise I will remember you.’_

Yeonjun.

His name is Yeonjun.

After what felt like a century of nostalgia, Beomgyu finally opens his eyes. His heart still hurts, but it hurts in a good way that Beomgyu is so close to begging for more. He found Yeonjun. He found Yeonjun and he remembered him, and the feeling and memories are back in his chest that it’s so overwhelming. They’re threatening to pour out. He wants to pour them out, pour his feelings into the older like he used to do in their past lives.

Beomgyu lifts his head, now brave enough to keep his sight on the taller boy, eyes filled with words left unspoken from their past life waiting to spill in this life. The older looks amazing, as he always been, the difference is that he has blue hair now. Beomgyu knows he looks like a mess with the tears on his cheeks, but he does not care. He opens his mouth to speak.

“Hyung-”

“I’m so sorry, did I make you uncomfortable?” the blue-haired boy asks, hands busy fishing for a handkerchief from his pocket. The look he was giving Beomgyu is a mix of worry and a little discomfort, and Beomgyu swears he saw his eyes glistening a little too. Did he cry? It does not look like it.

Another tear falls from Beomgyu’s eye.

“ _Sir_ , please stop crying.” the use of such a formal word to address him was enough to shoot his eyes wider open and to part his lips in surprise.

The older boy slightly backs away, movement so careful and so little it was almost not obvious but Beomgyu saw it. Beomgyu saw how his back straightened; Beomgyu saw how the older eyed him with a different look in his eyes. Then it hit him.

Yeonjun does not recognize him.

“I- I’m gonna go leave. I am so sorry for invading your space and for making you uncomfortable.” Yeonjun slowly stood up and picked up his bag, Beomgyu’s sight following his _every_ movement. He watched as Yeonjun bowed, eyes looking straight at Yeonjun’s hoping the older would understand that he’s begging him to stay.

_Hyung, it’s me._

_It’s me. Please stay._

But Yeonjun already made his way out of the café.

Beomgyu noticed just now that his chest feels empty again.


	2. Chapter 2: Don't Forget This Place

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "I will be waiting for you here."
> 
> Choi Beomgyu's chest is blooming like it is suddenly spring again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i forgot to tell this in the beginning but the title was taken from heartbeat's lyrics!!
> 
> also disclaimer, i have zero knowledge about korean history before writing this, so i scraped the few information i can find online and taken a creative license to it. not much technical terms are included anyway.
> 
> enjoy!

This autumn must have been the liveliest red it has ever been. Joseon looks alive.

The trees look like they are in a blaze, like they are threatening to consume the whole tree with fire. The path looks like the tree kissed the ground and blanketed the soil with flames, and Beomgyu smiles to himself as he knows this kind of flame will not bring him pain. This flame brings warmth instead.

This flame, and the man just right behind him. They bring him warmth.

It has become a habit of his to go outside for a long walk at this time of the day, just right before the sun starts setting. This day is not that different, well, of course, except for the fact that today he’s wearing a thicker _hanbok_ appropriate for the climate, and that there is a man who has been following and watching him walk since half an hour ago. From him picking the few flowers left at this season until now, where he’s just basking in the remaining sunlight as he walks.

Beomgyu should be alarmed, really. He is unguarded, he is thin-framed, he is young, and to top it all off almost everyone is aware that the blood running in his veins is that of an affluent family’s. For someone to freely follow him around like this with the knowledge of the qualities he possesses, yes, Beomgyu must be alarmed, but there is something about this man that makes him gravitate towards him, makes him slow down the steps he is taking, makes him muster up the courage to turn around and finally face the man.

“Are you planning to be my guardian?” Beomgyu smiled as he asked, finally turning around to face the peculiar man. Or boy. His age does not seem to be that far from his own age, most likely a few years older than him. The man, or boy, has skin so fair and supple that the women of Joseon would definitely envy. It does not come as much of a surprise to him though, as he noticed the lavish hanbok embracing the boy’s frame. A face like that fits a lavish life. _Son of a noble_ , he thinks to himself. Either that or someone who’s from a powerful family like his. 

With this in mind Beomgyu lowers his guard (as if his guard was even up a few moments ago). He takes a step closer to the boy, whose eyes shot wider than it was earlier when Beomgyu first faced him. “For someone who is not on the receiving end of being followed by a stranger, you are acting too surprised. Shouldn’t I be the terrified one here?” Beomgyu speaks, looking into the stranger’s eyes (which very much resembled those of a cat’s, his mind supplies). His pupils are really shaky, as if he is finding it hard to come up with a sentence or a reason or an excuse, but in the end he shuts his eyes closed and sighs in defeat.

“I am sorry for making you uncomfortable,” the boy first says as he lifts his head and fixes his posture to properly face Beomgyu. With this, Beomgyu notices how the boy is slightly taller than him, and it might be because of the thick hanbok but his frame seems to be bigger than Beomgyu’s too. There is a soft-hearted smile painted on the boy’s face and Beomgyu could not help but tug a small one on the corner of his lips too, to return the kind gesture. “I just found it interesting how a boy who’s probably the son of a nobleman is walking around the palace unguarded, picking flowers.”

Beomgyu responds with a head tilt and his smile shapes into something that leans into a more amused tone. The taller must be from somewhere far from here, because clearly the boy does not know him nor which family he is from. He concludes that the boy is smart too, seeing as he got Beomgyu’s class in this society correct.

“Well, I could say that to you too,” Beomgyu says, eyebrows raised in an observing manner. He eyes the complex golden embroidery on the boy’s intricate hanbok, as well as the silver and gold accessories on his hair bun. “Those lavish clothes can get you in big danger. You look like a walking gold pot, you know?”

The taller looks down on his fit and lifts a hand to his head at this, seemingly suddenly conscious of how he looks, and Beomgyu was about to feel bad about it until the boy’s lips stretches into a big grin and loses his eyes. “That makes the two of us then.” he nods at Beomgyu’s hand which causes him to quickly throw a glance at it, only to realize that the boy is pertaining to his jade bracelet.

“Anyway, I think it has been made clear that I have no ill intentions towards you, and again I am sorry for making you feel uncomfortable in your own space, so if you do not mind, would you like some company during your walk?” the taller boy asks with the kindest smile on his lips and the twinkling stars in his eyes. Beomgyu throws a blank stare in return.

It is not that he does not want company. Sure, he spared this specific time of the day for himself; to clear his mind on some days, or to simply enjoy the beauties of the palace in most days. He does not mind having company, he even had thought once before that it would be better if he has someone to share his thoughts with. It’s just that this is his first time receiving such an offer as people are usually hesitant to approach him due to his status, so it really is surprising to him for someone to offer to be his company.

(And it may also be the fact that the boy is looking at him with the loveliest pair of eyes which is why he is so taken aback, but this thought is pushed way to the back of his head.)

Beomgyu notices that the boy’s smile was dropping and seemingly close to taking his offer back so he quickly snaps out of his trance, which is why when the words come out they sound too rushed and excited. “Yes! I mean- yes, I would very much enjoy having someone with me.”

The boy’s grin stretches to something even wider and more endearing as he closed the distance between him and Beomgyu, until they are finally side to side, until they are at a distance where Beomgyu can see more of the boy’s details. The little things, the little scars.

The boy is breathtaking.

*****

The sky is almost the same color as the crown of the trees.

Orange and blue are seemingly fighting for dominance over the sky while the bright sun is preparing itself for a few hours of rest so that she can bring the brightest and the warmest sunlight the next morning. The sky darkening due to the less sunlight brings a colder breeze with it, to which Beomgyu cannot help but rub his palms against each other and tuck them under his thick hanbok sleeves.

The past half an hour was spent pouring the little details about themselves into each other. The boy, who had supplied him the information that he is indeed older by two years, had told Beomgyu a year’s worth of stories in that little amount of time. They have found so many things that are common between them, as well as the contrasts they have, and the fact that the two of them share the same surname.

(“That is absurd.” Beomgyu comments as soon as the older refused to give his name after he gave his own. What could be so special that he does not want to reveal his name?

The older must have notice the way Beomgyu puckered his lips a little due to annoyance, so he immediately thinks of a solution. “Choi. My surname is Choi.” 

Beomgyu’s eyes shoot up in surprise. It sure is not a name, but that is beside the point now. “I am a Choi too!” he says a little too excitedly.

“I am assuming you are a Gyeongju Choi, seeing as you reside here in the palace. I am a Jeonju Choi. Still, the coincidence alone that we are both Chois is amusing.”

Beomgyu kind of hopes it is fate rather than a mere coincidence.)

Both came from families of rich merchants, rich enough to have influence over a number of people, even the royalties themselves. Beomgyu asked how the older did not know him as expected from the status that they have and there he found out that the boy is certainly from outside the palace. Their family is currently on a visit; checking up on the royal family as well as looking for business opportunities.

Beomgyu thinks that the older Choi could have just stayed at home since the business mostly concerns his father only, and at that note the older mentions how his father tagged him along to start teaching him about this business of theirs and how to improve it. Beomgyu does not forget to keep note of how the older’s eyebrows furrowed as he talked about this, how he mentioned that he prefers to paint and do art instead of handling gold and trades. He asked Beomgyu if he shares the same sentiments and emotions as him, and Beomgyu almost slips but he caught himself before saying the word ‘endearing’. He says he feels bad and sorry for him instead.

Every single minute that they spent together made the urge to observe the tiny details about the older so unavoidable. The way the older scrunches his nose when he lets out a laugh was too hard to ignore, the way the older’s eyelids flutter and the lips pucker when he speaks was so distracting that Beomgyu had to stare down at the path for quite a while, which the older took notice of.

(“You know usually when I am talking to someone, especially with the ladies, they glue their eyes on my face as if they are afraid to forget how I look. Meanwhile here you are, looking down at the path while I speak. Do the rocks look more attractive to you?” Beomgyu could not help but quickly shift his line of sight at the taller in utter disbelief of what he just heard.)

The sun is almost down and this is Beomgyu’s cue to head back home. The night is even more dangerous for them during the day, which is why as much as possible he tries to reach home right before the last ray of sunlight vanishes into the horizon. The older must have noticed this as he mentions it first before Beomgyu even says anything. They stop in their tracks and face each other. “The breeze is so much colder now; I think it is better to be in the warmth of our homes at this time rather than here outside.”

“That would be lovely,” Beomgyu says. “The red sunlight is actually my prompt to head home.” The older nods at this.

He then shifts his gaze to the sight in front of them; Beomgyu decides to mirror his actions. With the lake facing west, it appears that the water is eating up the sun as it sets. The lake is painted the same colors as the sky: orange and blue with a little reds and pinks and purples dancing around. The waters nearer to the shore are covered with floating red leaves that the trees around shed. Contrasting the cold breeze embracing the two, the sight is warm to look at.

“This afternoon has been nothing but lovely. Thank you for letting me join you in your own time.” the older finally says, again with that same kind smile painted on his face.

_He is warm to be with._

“Thank you for joining me, I really enjoyed having company. Now that I think about it, all those days I walked alone before now feels really lonely,” Beomgyu jests which earns him a light chuckle from the older. “I’ll head home then. Keep safe.”

Beomgyu smiles and turns away from him to start heading home but stops in his tracks as the older speaks again.

“Will you still be here tomorrow?” he asks, voice filled with eagerness that Beomgyu does not even need to turn around to know that his eyes are filled with the most genuine emotion one can have. Still, he faces him just to see for himself and gives the older the warmest smile he can give. “Yes, I will be here.”

“Then I’ll see you tomorrow, Choi Beomgyu.”

“I will see you tomorrow, older Choi-”

“Choi Yeonjun. Have a good evening, Choi Beomgyu. I will be waiting for you here.

Don’t forget this place.”

And Choi Yeonjun smiles, and Choi Yeonjun turns around and walks away, and Choi Beomgyu’s chest is blooming like it is suddenly spring again.

*****

Beomgyu wakes up with dry tears on his cheeks and the worst throbbing ache at back of his head.

For a split-second the dirty white ceiling he first saw as soon as he opened his eyes threw him off as his last memory is that he’s in a café, but a particular chip on the surface of the ceiling as well as the familiar scent of microwaveable convenience store food pulled him quickly into full consciousness: he is in the apartment he shares with Soobin and another friend of theirs, Hueningkai.

He slept on Soobin’s lap, specifically.

Beomgyu immediately sits up straight at the realization that it must have been uncomfortable for Soobin and the taller kind of jumps out of his skin as he did not immediately realize that the younger is already awake. He instantly gets on his feet though to fetch Beomgyu a glass of water.

“Drink up.” Beomgyu mutters a quick thanks to Soobin and drinks the glass of water right away, wetting his dry throat that was hurting earlier along with his head when he woke up.

“Jesus, slow down.” Soobin warns as he watched the younger down the whole glass, waited for him to finish and take a breath before he started asking questions. “What happened?”

Beomgyu settles the glass on the cheap coffee table, stares off at the door for a few seconds to recollect what happened earlier.

As soon as Yeonjun entirely left his line of sight, Beomgyu completely broke down in the corner seat of the café. He busted into tears, his eyes flowed with non-stop heavy tears and his face fell in his hands. His shoulders shook due to the loud sobs he was making, gathering the attention of the few customers and employees who were near him. Someone kind-hearted was even nice to approach him and ask him what’s wrong, but Beomgyu could only reply with even louder sobs. The stranger offered him his handkerchief and left, and Beomgyu was thankful but he couldn’t say thank you. He then decides to contact Soobin, and Beomgyu is once again reminded why he’s so thankful that he’s friends with the taller guy.

(With very shaky fingers, Beomgyu contacts Soobin, completely forgetting the fact that the older is probably in class. But it doesn’t really matter. Soobin _always_ answers right away. This call is not that different.

“Beomgyu, I told you I’m in-”

“H-hyung, please come pick me up.” Beomgyu barely says before he bursts into another set of sobs.

“What? Gyu, what happened?” Soobin quickly asks; concern very evident in his voice. Beomgyu may or may not have heard some sounds of books being stacked and a bag being zipped close but he’s not in the right headspace to even focus properly on the call. He just wants Soobin to come and take him home.

“He… He did not r-recognize me hyung,” he sobs. “He did not recognize me.”

Soobin has no idea what the hell Beomgyu is talking about but he still packed his stuff into his bag and left the lecture. “Stay there, I’m taking you home. I’ll be there soon.”

The call ends, and Beomgyu just continues sobbing as his mind imprints the image of Yeonjun looking at him with empty eyes at the back of his mind.)

His notices that his head is not the only thing aching, his chest hurts too, but it’s a different kind of hurt. It’s the kind of pain that is not easily treated with medicine.

“I found him hyung.” Beomgyu starts. Soobin’s eyebrows furrows at this. He has absolutely no idea what the younger is talking about. “Who?”

“Or he found me rather,” Beomgyu ignores the taller boy’s question and continues. “He found me but he does not recognize me.” the younger bitterly laughs at this and at the realization of how sad the situation is. “What a sick twist of fate.”

Soobin kind of has an idea what Beomgyu is talking about, but he still needs to hear the confirmation from Beomgyu. “Who did you meet Beomgyu?”

The younger finally meets his eyes and Soobin’s heart shatters at the sight. Beomgyu’s eyes are swollen and exhausted, like he went through three lives and failed all three of them. Tired and pained and empty. Soobin is so not used to this; Beomgyu’s eyes always sparked when you look at them.

“His name is Yeonjun.” the name barely leaves Beomgyu’s lips. It feels like shards on his tongue, like thorns in his heart: it’s so painful to even think about it that Beomgyu feels like he cannot survive this open wound he has. Still, he braves the pain and tries to tell Soobin everything, because Soobin always knows what to do, Soobin always knows what to say to him, Soobin always knows what to do to heal him. He knows Soobin can help him.

And so he speaks, tells Soobin the tales of what he saw at the back of his mind as soon as his eyes landed on the blue-haired boy’s own pair, tells him how the gap that has left him hollow for so long was filled with the memories with the merchant’s son from hundreds of years ago, how the emptiness was replaced with overflowing emotions that was threatening to burst out of Beomgyu’s chest, how there are so many words left unsaid in their past life that Beomgyu wants to tell him in this life, how the blue-haired boy looked at him with the most unfamiliar look in his eyes, how he threw Beomgyu a look that was the complete opposite of the one he used to receive in Joseon: a look that used to hold the secret of the stars now looks nothing like an empty black void waiting to consume someone.

And Beomgyu couldn’t help but let tears roll down as he told Soobin all of this, even if his eyes hurt so much already. Nothing is as painful as the realization that the person you are supposed to spend your whole lifetime with, the person that you spent your past lifetime with, the _same_ person you are supposed to spend your next lifetimes with does not recognize you.

“But that’s impossible,” Soobin finally speaks. “Both of you are supposed to remember something. That’s… It’s the rule, isn’t it? The stories, even the books say that that’s how it works. Soulmates are supposed to recognize each other.”

“Then he is not destined to be mine in this life, I guess.” Beomgyu says, tone so bitter and cold even he did not recognize his own voice. Soobin’s eyes are wide at this, because that is _so_ not of Beomgyu to say, yet here they are, the crisis a blue-haired idiot brought bringing out the worst of Choi Beomgyu, when it’s supposed to be the other way around. “Whoever made this…setup, or whatever, is too cruel. Here I am bearing the weight of the memories from both of my lives and the person I am supposed to spend my lifetimes with does not even recognize me. How fucked up.”

Soobin sighs and pulls one of Beomgyu’s arms, enveloping the smaller boy’s frame into a warm hug, warm enough to thaw Beomgyu’s cold and sharp tongue.

“The stars sure work in ways we will never understand. We can ask them endless questions, but we will never get an answer. Clearly me, a mere human, does not have answers for what happened to you, but I hope you still trust the universe. I’m sure none of this happened for no reason. The universe will never leave a loose end.”

*****

Only now did Beomgyu realize why this small lake in this city holds a special place in his heart.

It has changed so much; it seems to be a lot smaller now, and although the shores are still line with trees, it is now also aligned with cement and benches for people to sit on. There are more people around now, but his heart still sees the same place: the same sight that warms his chest in this cold autumn.

He picks up his pace, a little concerned that someone might be sitting on his favorite spot already. His favorite spot being the place where you can see the sun set directly across from you. His favorite spot then, his favorite spot now.

The long strides took him to his spot faster than usual, but he freezes as soon as he sees someone seated on the bench. A specific blue-haired someone.

He remembers that dream of his from when he cried himself to sleep earlier. The image of a bright boy with the kindest smile and an expensive hanbok vivid in his mind, the sound of his voice saying that he would be waiting on that exact place ringing in his ears, and all of this is too much of a coincidence.

If this is all a coincidence then this is the sickest joke fate has ever pulled.

If it’s not then why does he not remember Beomgyu?

Beomgyu almost does not catch onto the fact that the blue-haired boy is now staring back at him, eyes filled with emotions Beomgyu cannot quite distinguish; one thing for sure is that he still does not recognize him.

Or maybe he does.

The blue-haired boy’s eyes suddenly lit up like something clicked in his mind, and Beomgyu’s heart immediately races which fueled his urge to walk towards the boy, until the boy opened his mouth to speak.

“You’re the one from the café, right?” Right. Of course. Beomgyu got his hopes up for nothing. The older clearly did not recognize him the first time, did he really let himself believe that he’s going to recognize Beomgyu the second time?

“Yes,” Beomgyu responds, careful not to make the same dumb impression he first made on him. If Yeonjun is going to meet him all over again, might as well be careful and start again on a good note. “that was me. Mind if I sit with you?”

“I don’t mind company.” Beomgyu’s heart skips a beat at this. He almost fools himself again into thinking that maybe, _maybe,_ there is a chance that Yeonjun remembers him, but he catches himself before he gets deluded. He closes the distance between them and sits beside the older, Beomgyu keeping a hand span worth of distance between. He must keep in mind that he’s a stranger in Yeonjun’s eyes. He then sees Yeonjun smile again for the first time in this life, and it’s almost the same kind smile from hundreds of years ago. Almost. Something about his smile feels different, something about it feels new.

“Hey,” Beomgyu starts which causes the older to shift his gaze from the lake to Beomgyu. _Same damn features, same breathtaking boy_ , he thinks. “I, uh… I just wanna say that I hope you aren’t bothered over what happened earlier.” Beomgyu throws his gaze into the lake because Yeonjun was staring at him so hard he feels like he’s gonna see through Beomgyu.

“You didn’t make me uncomfortable, it’s just-” he almost tells Yeonjun that he looks a lot like someone as an excuse, but that sounds fake to him for some reason. “-just personal matters.”

“I’m glad then, I was so scared I did something to you,” Yeonjun jokes a little to which Beomgyu grins in return. “And sorry for immediately leaving, like an asshole.” the younger almost doesn’t catch the swear at the end of the sentence.

“This view of the lake is nice. It’s perfect.” Yeonjun comments after a second of silence.

Beomgyu’s mind goes back to hundreds of years ago, in the same place. The lake is still painted the same colors as the sky: orange and blue with a little reds and pinks and purples dancing around. The waters nearer to the shore are covered with floating red leaves that the trees around shed. The breeze is now so much more colder than back then, but the sight still shares the same warmth.

Beomgyu looks at Yeonjun whose eyes were busy admiring the sight.

“It has always looked amazing.”

Maybe there is a chance.


	3. Chapter 3: All the Stars We Named are Yours

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “All the stars you named are yours.” and Beomgyu shuts his eye in serenity, contented at the knowledge that he owns the prettiest set of stars out there.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tw/mention of swords

Beomgyu is restless.

A few days had passed since Beomgyu had last seen Yeonjun. Back at the lake, they didn’t talk that much either. They both basked in comfortable silence as they slowly watched the waters swallow the sun, and as soon as the sky was dark Yeonjun bid his goodbye to Beomgyu. No good night, not even an exchange of names.

Well, Beomgyu does not need a name, in fact, Beomgyu knows Yeonjun like the back of his hand, but they are clearly in a different time now. Maybe this Yeonjun is _his_ same Yeonjun from Joseon, but there are things that are still ought to be different.

Like the fact that he’s a complete stranger in Yeonjun’s eyes.

Beomgyu is restless because of this.

The past few nights have been spent awake in his bed, sheets messy from all the tossing and turning he has done over the night. He’d fall asleep sometimes, but it doesn’t even last an hour. His eyes would shoot open again, wide awake from the image of a breathtaking Joseon boy dressed in a lavish hanbok and showered with expensive accessories.

His midnights have been a blur between the reality and the past. In the few minutes he had fallen asleep, glimpses of the past would flash in his mind; images of how it was like to be with Yeonjun during Joseon’s era would flood his head. The memories aren’t in order either, they’re literally just a few minutes of memories with him, like the time he taught Yeonjun how to properly pick flowers, or the time Yeonjun painted the lake and gifted it to him, or the time the palace guards mistook them as thieves and chased them around, although Beomgyu does not remember why they were still out that late.

The memories, they are too vivid. He’s certain that the merchant’s son in his memories really is Yeonjun, the blue-haired boy he met in the café, because those eyes, those cheeks, and those lips; he’d recognize them anywhere. He’d recognize them even through a thousand more lives. The memories that flash in his mind maybe random and maybe he does not remember some parts but Yeonjun himself, as cliché as it may sound, Yeonjun himself is engraved in his heart.

Yeonjun is a scar of a wound that Beomgyu is always bound to remember.

For the nth time this week, Hueningkai does not fail to comment on how the dark circles under Beomgyu’s eyes are seemingly becoming bigger as nights pass by.

Beomgyu finally decided to leave his bed after hours of just staring at the ceiling (this time, he fell asleep at 3 a.m. only to wake up a few minutes before the clock hits 4, and he was also just staring at the ceiling prior to that), and heads out to their living room. From his room, Beomgyu can faintly smell the strong scent of butter on toast but now that he’s out, door open, the scent is now completely swimming in his nostrils.

“And I thought the circles under hyung’s eyes cannot get any darker.” Hueningkai jests as usual. Beomgyu managed to throw him a glare, to which the younger only answered with a glance and a cheeky grin on his face. If Beomgyu was more awake and less _dead_ , he would’ve smacked the younger on the arm despite him being obviously smaller in size ( _For some who’s obviously smaller than the both of us you have zero fears,_ Soobin commented once before), but right now he’s as exhausted as a marine who has been through 15 wars, so he leaves the kid alone and sits at the only chair left around the mini-dining table of theirs.

“Hyung, I can help you with your plates, you know?” the kid managed to say before he took his first bite on the toast. Beomgyu raises an eyebrow at this, confused at first as to why Hueningkai brought this up. “You know I finish my requirements as soon as possible so I usually have spare time. I can help you with your plates so you don’t have to stay up all night.”

Oh. Hueningkai must have thought that university has been keeping Beomgyu awake at night lately. Well, their university really is demanding but lately it has been calm so he does not have that much to do. Still, he thanks the younger for the offer. Hueningkai can be annoying at times but he treats Beomgyu the same way Soobin treats him (probably because they have been together all their life, they’re practically one person now).

Soobin, who’s seated on Beomgyu’s left, eyes him and throws a very, very quick glance at Hueningkai. Beomgyu doesn’t understand at first, and then he realizes that Soobin is asking if he’s going to tell the younger about what really keeps him up at night. He stares at the younger for a second, the boy’s features sharp yet at the same time innocent.

“Kai,” Beomgyu starts which immediately snatched the attention of the boy. “You’re very interested in soulmates right?” Hueningkai’s eyes visibly light up at this and Soobin almost laughs at how the boy’s attention quickly piqued, like a person showed a puppy its favorite toy.

“Do you really wanna talk about soulmates now? During breakfast? Because you know very well that I won’t stop talking.” Hueningkai warns which Beomgyu ignores because he’s used to it. Besides, he just needs an answer to one question anyway.

“When soulmates meet each other, both of them remembers their past life right?” he asks, careful enough to watch his tone so that the boy doesn’t get suspicious.

“Of course,” Hueningkai swallows the small piece he has been chewing and proceeds to talk. “That’s how it works.”

“Is it possible for one of them to not remember anything?” Soobin asks next, probably to make it less suspicious for Beomgyu because Beomgyu doesn’t usually ask things like this. Hueningkai was about to bite another piece but stops as soon as Soobin dropped the question, staring at the eldest with eyes that want to speak, like his eyes has so many things to say yet he just cannot voice them out. Soobin only looks back at him with confusion and Hueningkai suddenly snaps out of it.

“As far as I know, it’s impossible. From what I’ve read so far there are no accounts of someone who didn’t recognize their soulmate.” Beomgyu thinks there might be just one now, but he doesn’t say that and lets the younger continue to speak. “If there is, I think they’ll remember the other eventually. If they don’t, then it probably happened for a reason.” Hueningkai looks at Soobin. “There has to be a reason.”

*****

It has always been hard to find for reasons than come up with accurate conclusions. That’s what Beomgyu thinks.

Book on top of book on top of book, Beomgyu has almost scraped the university library trying to find answers as to why this happened to him; as to why this happened to them. The other students that have been passing by have thrown him looks of amusement, eyeing the pile of books in front of him. They must’ve thought Beomgyu is studying hard for an exam or for an output. He wishes it was the case, wishes that the open books are one of those novels their professor had assigned to them, but unfortunately the only thing that currently concerns him the most is the fact that his soulmate does not remember him.

Beomgyu finishes scanning the last book he picked up from the aisle nearest to the spot he’s on. He must have finished six books in a span of two and a half hours, but he still couldn’t find a single answer, not even a possible variable as to why this happened. The closest he got is that it’s possible for one’s soulmate to be born in a different body, but even that doesn’t make sense. 

Because if Yeonjun was born with a different face then why did the memories come back to Beomgyu? Why did his chest feel so full when he landed his eyes on the older? Why did his heart ache for him when he left the café?

With a heavy sigh, Beomgyu stands up from where he’s seated, stacking the books into one pile so that he doesn’t have to make two trips back to the aisle from where he gathered these books from. The stack is almost as tall as his torso, and it’s a little difficult for him to make his way to the shelf as the book on top is blocking his line of sight a little. He takes slow steps, careful not to bump into anyone in the process and disturb the other students. As soon as he was almost at the shelves, someone taps on his shoulder, causing him to turn around and face whoever it is.

Beomgyu’s eyes must be the widest it has ever been this week. It’s been over a week since he last saw Yeonjun, and a few days ago he already dropped his expectations of seeing the older any time soon, which is why to see the blue-haired boy right now, here in the university library, is so much of a surprise to him. A pleasant surprise.

“ _Oh_?” The blue-haired boy couldn’t help but let out a sound of surprise when they met eyes. “It’s you right? The guy at the lake.” Yeonjun starts, appearing amused at the unexpected reunion of theirs. Beomgyu could only nod. His fingers under the books he’s carrying are shaking, palms sweaty, and yes, it could possibly be because the books are too heavy but Beomgyu knows that Yeonjun’s presence is causing this.

Nothing else could cause his heart to beat as fast as it’s beating right now, nothing else could make the butterflies go crazy in his stomach, nothing else can make the roses in his chest bloom. Only Yeonjun has this effect on him and it’s driving him insane.

“You looked like you’re having a hard time carrying those books, so I approached you to lend a hand,” Yeonjun says, already picking up half of the books on the pile to carry them himself. “I didn’t know it was you.”

Yeonjun sure still doesn’t remember what kind of life they have been through before, sure doesn’t remember Beomgyu’s name, but the fact that Yeonjun is now familiar with him in this life is enough to make Beomgyu’s ears flush red, enough to tug a smile at the corner of his lips. He tries his best not to show it though.

They start walking along the aisle to put the books back to where Beomgyu picked them up, their voices soft as they try to make small talk. They’re familiar with each other now, aren’t they? This is the most Beomgyu can do with Yeonjun in this life, for now. “Do you… do you study here?” Beomgyu asks, eyes focused on the books and his mind refusing to look at the older boy, knowing his heart will claw out right of his chest at the sight of the breathtaking boy (as if his heart isn’t pounding so hard as of the moment).

“I mean, this is the university library, right?” Yeonjun answers with a low chuckle and Beomgyu only then realizes that his question sounds a little dumb, mentally hits himself. Yeonjun notices the way the younger reacted. “Sorry.” he apologizes for replying in such a way that other people would have found annoying, yet Beomgyu doesn’t mind because he remembers how the merchant’s son from Joseon talks to him in the same way. Beomgyu smiles to himself.

_Same damn smartass._

“You study here as well then,” Yeonjun notes, on his toes as the book in his hand is placed on a particularly higher shelf. Beomgyu was about to place the last book in his hand back on the shelf but stops when the older spoke again, voice almost too soft to catch as the older did meant to say it to himself. Still, Beomgyu hears it. “What a coincidence.”

Beomgyu wants to throw his head back and burst into fits of laughter at this, wants to drop the book and clap his hands because that has to be the most ridiculous thing he has ever heard. Yet at the same time, it pokes a slight pain in his heart. On Beomgyu’s side, everything that’s happening is a path designed by fate yet in Yeonjun’s eyes, their past encounters are a mere coincidence.

Fate is sick.

“What a coincidence.” he softly repeats to himself and pushes the last book in between the other books on the shelf. Yeonjun already finished his own share, so he was just waiting for the smaller boy to finish, and when Beomgyu turned around he almost gasps at the sight of a casually-clothed Yeonjun leaning against the tall shelf. They have met only three times so far in this life, so Beomgyu is still not used to seeing the boy in present clothes instead of a hanbok, still not used to the electric blue on the boy’s head, but his heart still races the most over the fact that the boy is still as breathtaking as the merchant’s son from back then.

(He also notes how the older still wears lavish clothes. Maybe a few things didn’t change).

“Thank you for helping me,” Beomgyu says with a soft smile and Yeonjun’s name almost escapes his lips but he catches himself before he says it, quickly remembers he isn’t supposed to know his name. 

He doesn’t need to hold back for long though.

“Yeonjun,” the older boy says. 

Beomgyu’s eyes light up at this, heart fleeting at this little introduction occurring between them.

Of course Beomgyu already knows him, but then again they are in a different lifetime now, and this Yeonjun is a different Yeonjun in different ways, and if Yeonjun does not remember him then Beomgyu guesses they can start over again. They can start with names again. So Beomgyu’s smile widens, and speaks. “Choi Beomgyu.”

The older tried to hide it, but Beomgyu caught the way the Yeonjun’s eyes clicked with something along the lines of familiarity, like he knows something Beomgyu doesn’t, and before Beomgyu could even think of anything, Yeonjun’s eyes quickly lights up to amusement.

“Hey, I’m a Choi too,” Yeonjun says as he walks with Beomgyu out of the aisle. Beomgyu wonders if the older plans to walk with him until he’s out of the library, which would be odd since they’re barely acquaintances, their current relationship is something that’s dancing somewhere between the lines of being strangers and merely two people who have met a few times, yet if the older has plans to join him on his way out then Beomgyu doesn’t mind. Like a hundred years ago, Beomgyu wouldn’t mind company.

Beomgyu doesn’t mind Yeonjun’s presence.

“I’m from the Jeonju lineage,” Yeonjun pauses and looks at Beomgyu, as if he’s expecting the boy to say something, and Beomgyu realizes that he’s supposed to tell the older which Choi he’s from.

“Oh, uh, I’m from the Gyeongju clan.” Beomgyu replies. Yeonjun nods and looks ahead, then proceeds to speak.

“The coincidence that we’re both Chois,” His heart skips a beat; this conversation a familiar dance to him now. “It’s cool.”

Beomgyu smiles to himself. Beomgyu from hundreds of years ago who wished for it to not be a mere coincidence would be thrilled, because this time around he knows it really is fate.

“What are you doing with all those books by the way? Exams are still a few weeks due.” Yeonjun asks, curious as to why the boy with smaller frame was reading so many books. Beomgyu panics a little, because the very damn reason Beomgyu was reading those books is because of the boy right next to him. He quickly flounders in his head for sentences to form and excuses to give, until his brain supplies him with the simplest response he can give. “I was looking at references.”

Partly true, probably why Yeonjun simply nods and believes what Beomgyu said. “I’m guessing you’re in literature,” the older notes. Beomgyu’s lips part into a little _o_ shape in surprise because the older somehow got it right, and the shock must’ve been really evident in Beomgyu’s face as the older lets out a soft chuckle. “The books you were reading dealt with soulmates, so I guessed you needed references for an output.” Yeonjun explains. Beomgyu’s face shifts into an _ah_ expression, partly because it makes sense that Yeonjun concluded that much from the little thing that he noticed, and partly due to relief because imagine what kind of reasoning he would have had to do if he was in the field of medicine or something.

“I’m in architecture,” Yeonjun continued to lead the conversation, which Beomgyu is really grateful for as he finds it hard to speak in front of the older for some reason, when he wasn’t like this back then. He really needs to work on it now though. He also smiles at the knowledge that the older is studying architecture, remembers all the paintings Yeonjun has given him, remembers Yeonjun’s tales of the places he had been to trying to find the perfect subject to draw, remembers how he asked Yeonjun what’s his favorite thing to draw and the older replied with _‘you’_ , remembers how his chest felt like spring in the cold of the nearing winter season.

But for now, he sets the memories aside, because that was before and they’re in the present now, and even if Yeonjun doesn’t remember their past, they met again in this life, they exchanged names now, and Beomgyu is more than willing to start everything over because it’s Yeonjun. 

Beomgyu is willing to do anything, as long as it’s Yeonjun.

And so Beomgyu speaks, now braver to keep the conversation going. “It must be difficult then. My friend is in architecture too.”

Yeonjun replies, and Beomgyu replies, and they kept the conversation going that both of them didn’t even notice that they were long out of the library.

In this life, Beomgyu finds out that the older is still two years older than him, and that he grew up moving back and forth between U.S. and Korea. With this alone he concludes that he was born from an affluent family, something they once again have in common this time around. Of course, there are also so many new things about Yeonjun this time, like the fact that the older developed a love for the art of dancing.

(“I still enjoy drawing, clearly why I took architecture. But dancing… dancing is something else.” Yeonjun even does a little dance move as he says this, skipping on his feet and Beomgyu hangs his head low in embarrassment because they caught the attention of those who were passing by.

“Then why didn’t you pursue it?” Beomgyu asks.

“My parents think there’s nothing to do with dance. Well, they know dancing is a legitimate job, but they believe it would be easier for me to land a job in architecture.” the older explains.

Beomgyu briefly remembers how Yeonjun’s merchant father also preferred him to be in business rather than with his colored ink and paper, but quickly brushes the memory aside.)

If there is one thing Beomgyu does not fail to catch then it’s the fact that the older has the same habits. 

Yeonjun still tells his stories and the same animated way he used to do before, eyelids fluttering and lips in a pout. Oh how Beomgyu missed this, how he missed drowning in his senses and losing himself at the sight of Yeonjun simply talking, how he missed listening to the honey-like voice that always sounds so eager to tell the stories of everything he experienced this year, the past year, or even the past life, even if Yeonjun does not remember it.

“I’m sorry I talk too much,” Yeonjun scrunches his nose at the realization that he almost hadn’t let Beomgyu talk, to which the younger only laughs at because it’s completely fine. Beomgyu is so comfortable like this. He feels like his emptiness is quickly being filled by Yeonjun’s presence alone, and the stories that come with him are threatening to overflow yet he still happily listens to them. They continue to talk like they’re old friends who have a lot to catch up on.

Technically, they’re really old friends who have recently reunited and they have so much catching up to do, but that only applies to Beomgyu. To Yeonjun, they’re new friends, and they have so much to learn about and each other, so many stories to tell, and Beomgyu is more than happy to be considered a new friend.

They part ways in front of the café where they first met, where Yeonjun first found him.

“You know, I still feel like an asshole for leaving you crying in there.” Yeonjun says, throws a look at the corner seat from where they’re standing outside.

“I told you, I’m fine, and it wasn’t because of you.” Beomgyu replies, ears flushing because now that he’s more comfortable, he now realized how much of an idiot he looked back then.

“Still, I could’ve done something.” Yeonjun pauses, hands suddenly fidgety as if he wants to say something, but he’s hesitating. “Anyway, uh, have this.” Beomgyu looks down and to see Yeonjun handing him a patterned handkerchief, white with maroon lined at the sides. Beomgyu looks at Yeonjun who’s looking back at him, but not really. The older shifts his gaze every now and then. He then quickly lets out a sigh, hides his hands in the warm pockets of his coat, and speaks.

“Don’t cry next time you see me.” Yeonjun winks, or blinks, Beomgyu doesn’t really know because it all happened too fast and Yeonjun was already leaving as soon as Beomgyu muttered the softest thank you ever.

Beomgyu watched the older disappear into a corner, and only then he realizes what happened and the blood rushes to his face and ears, smile tugging at the corner of his lips.

He enters the café and immediately spots Soobin on the other corner, Hueningkai next to him, long arms waving at him. There are knowing and curious smiles on their faces, and Beomgyu’s already dreading on his way to the corner table. He knows that the two saw everything, and that he has no choice but to tell them.

“Is there something you would like to share to the audience, Mr. Choi?”

*****

The sons of the two powerful Chois are clearly closer now; anyone in the palace can tell.

They have always been seen together ever since that one afternoon, everyone in the palace practically knows Yeonjun now, although he is more known as Beomgyu’s close friend rather than the visiting merchant’s son. They have also been spending more time together now, instead of Beomgyu sparing his afternoon only, he has also been going out at random times of the day, like the time he went out early in the morning because he promised Yeonjun to show him around the palace.

( _‘Who could that be?’ ‘Does the king have a hidden prince?’ ‘There is no way that face does not belong to a royalty.’_ With every step they take, the whispers only grew stronger. Beomgyu looked at Yeonjun, only to see the older holding his chin up high, eyelids lowered, lips preventing itself from tugging a smile yet it is obvious that he is liking what he is hearing because the apples in his cheeks are only pushing themselves up further on his face.

Beomgyu rolls his eyes and bumps Yeonjun at the side, causing the older to raise his eyelids back to how they normally are and looks down at Beomgyu who is giving him a different look. “What?”

“You are enjoying this too much; do not be so full of yourself.” Beomgyu says and looks somewhere else. Yeonjun chuckles and hits back at Beomgyu’s side.

“Just so you know, I own the hearts of every single lady back in my town.” Beomgyu snickers at this. “Every single time I walk out of the house I receive a gift,” Yeonjun then lifts a hand from his back and pulls one of the accessories from his hair and shows it Beomgyu. 

“This hair pin is the most memorable. One time we went to the market, a commoner shoved away one of my guards and knelt in front of me.” Beomgyu’s eyes widens at the story, eyeing the path they are walking on and imagining how the lady’s knees must have hurt from all the pebbles on the ground. “The guards have their swords pointed at her neck, but she clearly wanted to speak so I told them to lower their swords. She said she does not have parents, does not have any property left in her hands save for this hair pin, but she still wanted to give it to me as a gift.” the older speaks and eyes the accessory, eyebrows furrowed as if he is trying his best to remember what happened.

“I did not want to accept it because like she said, this was her only possession, but her eyes were begging, and it felt wrong to reject it so I took it from her hands. She broke into tears as she thanked me.” Yeonjun finishes, Beomgyu amazed at the common lady’s bravery, but he decides to poke fun at it.

“Do you really think I would believe you?” he teases Yeonjun, who is looking back at him seemingly offended.

“I’m telling the truth!”

“I do not think a commoner would risk her life like that just because she likes your face.” the younger teases even more, but then Yeonjun stops at this. Beomgyu wonders if he crossed the line, but the older speaks with a look that is piercing into Beomgyu’s own pair.

“How about you, a wealthy merchant’s son, would you risk your life for me?” Yeonjun suddenly asks, not breaking his eye contact with Beomgyu, and the younger almost answers but Yeonjun suddenly lets out a chuckle and shifts his gaze back on the people looking at him. “I was not serious about that. Let’s go.”

Beomgyu clears his throat and starts walking too.

 _What if I am willing to do that?_ )

Like how they usually did, Yeonjun and Beomgyu are on their way to meet each other again.

Except that they sneaked out late into the night this time.

A small lantern in hand and a pounding heart in his chest, Beomgyu walks out of their family’s yard, walking on a path different than what he would usually take because there are guards surrounding the place. He and Yeonjun agreed to meet at their spot in the lake, and Beomgyu’s stomach flutters at the sight of a tall boy seated in front of a lake, probably admiring its beauty at nighttime.

“It has been hours since the sun was down,” Beomgyu teases as soon as he was near the older boy’s presence, poking fun at how the Yeonjun is seated as how he would usually seat while they wait for the sun to disappear. He sits next to Yeonjun and settles the lantern on his other side, Yeonjun’s lantern in front of them, and it amazes Beomgyu how the older still manages to look this beautiful at this low light.

Yes, the sun has been long down, only the moon is gracing light in the palace and on the water, and the air is colder than it is during daylight but the soft yellow and orange light of the lantern reflecting on Yeonjun’s face made him seem like the sunset himself, and the warmth he exudes only added to this image.

Yeonjun is Beomgyu’s personal sunset. 

Maybe it is the tranquility of the night, or the warmth and comfort that the smaller boy’s presence brings him, but Yeonjun’s mood slips into something that is so much more comfortable, his guards are lowered, and he feels like he shed a layer of clothing that has been making him feel heavy despite not taking anything off at all. Yeonjun feels serene.

“I know you are wealthy, well maybe not as wealthy as the royalties, but wealthy enough to be given anything you would ask for,” Yeonjun starts, voice as soft as how he is currently feeling. Beomgyu lets out a soft hum to let him know that Yeonjun has the younger’s full attention, and Beomgyu feels Yeonjun look at him. He can feel his breath against his cheek. “I want to know if there is anything that you want that you cannot possess.”

It is such an odd question, what Yeonjun had asked him, yet he still raked his mind for answers, head tilting upwards to carefully think. His eyes land on the stars and his mind comes up with an answer. “There is.”

Yeonjun looks towards the sky as Beomgyu replied to him. “I would love to own a star.” the younger continues. “I would love to own one in my hands, but they are unreachable.”

Yeonjun’s gaze drops back to Beomgyu who was still looking up. “Well, you can own them, but you would not be able to hold them in your hands.”

“How?”

“Name them. Name every single star that you want, and they would be yours.”

Beomgyu looks down from the sky and returns his sight to Yeonjun, their eyes locking, and Beomgyu swears there are stars in Yeonjun’s sparkling eyes.

Maybe it is possible to hold the stars in his hands.

Beomgyu does not know if it is the tranquility of the lake, or the warmth of the taller boy’s presence beside him, but he feels a little braver to say his thoughts, feels a little braver to say his wants.

“Those are the stars that I want,” the younger says, voice soft, eyes piercing at the older boy who was looking straight back at him with the same intensity as the shining stars in the sky. Yeonjun does not respond, but the drumming in both of their chests is enough to say the words that are threatening to spill from their lips. “The glimmer in your eyes threatens to overbear the beauty of the night sky itself,”

“I only want your eyes on me.” The sound of his own heart is ringing in Beomgyu’s ear. Yeonjun’s almost forgets to breathe, his chest heavy in a good way, and he speaks.

“Then they are yours.”

Beomgyu’s breath hitches, and the widest smile stretches on their faces, the loveliest flowers bloom on their chests as the younger leans his head on the older’s shoulder and the older resting his own the younger’s head.

They both know that something changed between them that night. They both happily welcome this change.

“All the stars you named are yours.” and Beomgyu shuts his eye in serenity, contented at the knowledge that he owns the prettiest set of stars out there.

  
  
  


It was Beomgyu’s first good sleep in a week.


	4. Chapter 4: Your Hands are Only Mine

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yeonjun shifts closer to the younger, taking Beomgyu’s hands in his but this time, their fingers are intertwined. 
> 
> “Your hands are only mine.”
> 
> And yes, Beomgyu’s hands are only his, because Beomgyu knows his hands fit no one else’s hand but Yeonjun’s.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the king has arrived

The night is not as tranquil as they thought.

No words have been exchanged between Yeonjun and Beomgyu; just them enjoying each other’s warmth and presence and basking under the soft glow of the moon shining faintly over their heads. The lake is serene and the winds are not blowing, and if it is not for their beating hearts then the whole place would have been deafeningly silent. But this peace does not last for long.

The sound of pebbles scraping against each other slices through the comfortable silence.

The two quickly lifted their heads away from each other and snapped their heads towards the direction where they heard footsteps; the sound soft enough to determine that the people walking are still far but loud enough to gather Yeonjun and Beomgyu’s attention. Yeonjun picked up their lamps and blew on the fire to kill the light. He then looks back to their left, but he detected not a single movement. They are still far.

“Guards, probably.” Yeonjun whispers to Beomgyu, warm breath fanning against the younger’s nose and lips, sending shudders under Beomgyu’s skin. “Let’s get out of here.”

The older is the first one to be up on his feet, helping Beomgyu up as soon as he was standing straight. Beomgyu throws a glance to their left too and sees a faint glow of yellow orange, immediately recognizing that they are torches handheld by the three guards who are doing their rounds. “I did not know guards still do rounds this late into the night…” Beomgyu trails to himself.

The glow grew closer to them and they start hearing the chatting of the guards, which is why Yeonjun and Beomgyu picked their lamps up and started slowly walking away from the lake. They bend their torsos low to stay undetected and took slow steps, but Yeonjun takes a wrong step and settles his foot on the wrong ground, causing a rock to roll down into the lake. The rock made quite a plop into the water in the quiet of the night, enough for the guards to snap their attention towards the direction of the two.

“Who’s there?” asked one of the guards, holding his torch forward to bring light towards the direction of the two, voice loud and stern that Beomgyu’s heart started to pick up its pace.

Without a word, Yeonjun steps ahead of Beomgyu and takes the younger’s hand in his, pulling on the younger, and they started dashing. Of course Beomgyu took notice of the way Yeonjun’s hand perfectly enveloped his, and the way Yeonjun’s hand exudes warmth no fire can compare, but for now he stores this information somewhere in his mind and focuses on what they currently have on their plates: trying not get caught by the palace guards.

“This way!” Yeonjun half-whispers, tugging Beomgyu to a right turn which leads to a cluster of houses that visitors usually stay in, the gravel under their feet flying in all sorts of direction in each step they take.

“Stop right there!” the guards chase after them, the metals of their weapons and armor clinking against each other, heavy footsteps sounding across the place. Yeonjun takes a quick glance behind them; two of the guards holding their torches high and the one left gripping his sword forward. He tightens his grip on Beomgyu, looks back at the younger, gives him a slight smile, looks back ahead,

And darts even faster.

Beomgyu felt this sudden change of pace and tried his best to keep up, adrenaline flushing into his blood, suddenly hyperaware of how heavy his hanbok is and how much of a nuisance it is, the muscles of his leg contracting and burning. He feels the rocks hard under the soles of his shoes as well as the slight pain coming from how tight Yeonjun is gripping him, a pain he gladly welcomes.

The older pants as he looks right and left of the straight path to look for possible places to hide; heart frantic in his chest. He then spots a dark alley to his left, throwing the guards a quick glance to see how far behind they are and pulls Beomgyu into the alley with strength. 

Behind one of the houses in that alley is a wide-trunked tree with thick bushes surrounding it; a place Yeonjun saw fit for the two of them to hide in. They flash toward it, practically throwing their bodies into the dark bushes.

Their chests heave up and down in a frantic pace, their exhales drawing out smokes due to the cold weather of the night. A small clump of sweat rolls down Beomgyu’s forehead and wets his brow, the ribbon of his hat almost untied causing it to be loose on his head. He glances at the older who looks the same as him; hairs sticking to his forehead and neck, mouth open from all the panting he has been doing.

Yeonjun peeks his head to see if there are guards towards the direction ahead of them, and the younger mimics his actions, only that he is looking back to where they came from. Beomgyu cannot see the guards, but he can tell that they are just right by the alley as he hears untimed desperate pants and metal clinking against each other. “I am pretty sure they turned to one of these alleys.” One guard barely says while panting.

The older tugged on his hand causing Beomgyu to look back at him, and Yeonjun tilted his head towards the direction ahead of them to let him know that it is safe for them to proceed. Beomgyu only nods in response and they start stepping out of the bush, Yeonjun careful of every step he takes to avoid waking the neighborhood up and risking the both of them again. As they walk, or sneak further into the small cluster of houses, Beomgyu realizes something. He looks around and smiles to himself. They are near the house where Yeonjun’s family is lodging in.

“Isn’t this your home-”

A loud crunch of a dead leaf sounds in the whole place.

Yeonjun and Beomgyu’s eyes shoot wide open as they both drop their gazes on the now shredded red leaf under the younger’s foot, the loud noise still ringing in their ears. Beomgyu shuts his eyes tight and knits his eyebrows together at the realization of what just happened, already internally blaming himself and scenarios of the worst already playing in his mind.

They hear clinking metal sounds, louder and louder on each second that passed by until the sight of a guard holding a torch in one hand and a sword on the other appears on the entrance of the alleyway. They meet eyes. 

“They are here!”

The guard’s voice sure was loud, yet the adrenaline is making it sound like the voice was a loud thunder ripping through the skies and Beomgyu could not help but let out a soft gasp of fright and grip Yeonjun’s hand tighter. Yeonjun must have noticed this as he took a glance at the younger, squeezing his hand in the same intensity but this time, the warmth in his hand is reassuring.

The older pulls on his hand again and they start scampering deeper into the alley, hearts beating in a frenzied manner. Their thighs churn on every stride they take, twigs breaking and dead leaves crunching under their feet. The dirt is sticking into the ends of their hanbok, turning white into brown and the older is starting to get annoyed at the demerit this lavish hanbok of his brings. They are not the clothes appropriate for a late night chase.

Yeonjun took every single turn they can take to confuse the guards, exploring the unfamiliar maze-like alley. “I told you to stop!” another guard barks at them, but they only pick their speed up at this, increasing the gap between them. Once the guards are out of his sight, Beomgyu sees an alley he is pretty familiar with and tugs on Yeonjun’s hand to stop him from running. “We,” he wheezes an exhale out. “We can hide there, hyung.” he then points at the dark alley and they immediately start running again at the sound of heavy footsteps on gravel.

At one side of the alley is a shack where one of the families who reside in that area hide their produce, and Beomgyu, who is now the one leading their chase, pulled Yeonjun into the shack. Both of them squeezed themselves into it and crouched as the shack is a little small for the two of them, but still enough to keep the both of them unseen. Right before the guards turn their way, Yeonjun lets go of Beomgyu’s hand to throw a pebble deeper into the alley and shuts the door.

Save for the clinking armor and heavy respiration, it is dead silent. Yeonjun and Beomgyu hold their breaths in their chests, ears piqued in alert as the guards stop just right outside the shack’s door. The adrenaline running up and down Beomgyu’s body made him hyperaware of the pounding heart in his chest, eyes glued at the little gaps on the door that is letting in some of the light from the guards’ torches.

“They went this way!” One of them says as the stone Yeonjun threw hit the ground, the shadows covering the remaining light seeping through the small gaps of the little shack’s wall. “Let’s go.” Another guard speaks, and the footsteps start to sound farther and farther from them, the light glowing softer and softer as the guards run deeper into the alley.

When the noises were gone Yeonjun took a peek from the very small gap there is on the door next to him, and once he confirmed that the guards are out of sight, his head falls back with the biggest sigh of relief against the wooden wall of the small shack.

Beomgyu himself could not help but sag his body into a more comfortable position and let go of the breath he has been holding, ribs sinking back as the air escapes his lungs, the images of what else could have possibly happened slowly leaving his mind. Now that he is thinking about it, he never thought that he would one day sneak out of his house this deep into the night , let alone be on the receiving end of the palace guards chasing after someone.

He looks at the older, forehead wet with sweat, hairs sticking everywhere, the accessory on his man bun misarranged and mouth slightly open from panting. Yeonjun looks back at him and smiles, the ridiculousness of the situation suddenly seeping into his mind. The older lets out small chuckles to which Beomgyu only frowns too. How can he laugh in this kind of situation? Remnants of the anxiety he felt earlier controls his mouth.

“You find this funny?” Beomgyu raises a brow at the older, eyes widening in annoyance, starting to feel hot under his skin again but this time, it is something along the lines of being upset. “We could have been caught! Well actually, we were caught! Oh no… they saw our faces, did they not? I think they might have recognized my face. This is bad. This is the worst. They are going to find us come morning and-”

“That was the first time I got to hold your hand, Beomgyu.” Yeonjun breaks the eye contact to look down on his own hand, as if he is checking if something on his palm changed. Beomgyu’s lips slightly parts at this, not expecting the words that have just left Yeonjun’s mouth. “I find it ridiculous how I got to hold your hand because the guards mistook us for thieves.” he chuckles even more.

“Your hands; they are soft and small in mine.” Yeonjun notes. The annoyance Beomgyu felt seconds ago immediately seeps out of his body, a smile starting to pull on his lips. He knows it was not only him whose heart fluttered the moment their hands clasped. He knows Yeonjun felt the same.

Yeonjun shifts closer to the younger, taking Beomgyu’s hands in his but this time, their fingers are intertwined. 

“Your hands are only mine.”

And yes, Beomgyu’s hands are only his, because Beomgyu knows his hands fit no one else’s hand but Yeonjun’s.

***

When they part ways, the sky is already dancing along somewhere between the colors blue and yellow, hinting that the sun is nearing its rise. Joseon is bound to wake up soon.

The rest of their midnight was spent walking along the unguarded areas of the palace. They told each other little stories, some true, some made up, some are wishes of how their future would go. It is almost like they endless and endless of things to know about each other, and every single subject of the conversation gives them opportunity to tell each other more about themselves. They do not tell each other everything though, no, they kept a few more stories to themselves, stories to tell the next morning they meet, stories to tell when their hairs turn gray, stories to tell in their next lives. So they stop walking in front of a poor merchant’s stall, and bid each other a goodbye, parting ways and heading toward opposite directions.

Instead of rushing home, Beomgyu takes his time to walk, his cheeks now hurting because of the smile that has been stuck on his face. Everything that happened tonight flashed in his head, also now finding it ridiculous that the palace guards mistook them for thieves, finding it amusing how it was indeed their first time holding hands. The smile on his cheek stretches more, blood even rushing up to his cheek which he does not stop because no one will be able to see anyway. Or maybe someone is bound to see.

“Choi Beomgyu!” a familiar voice calls his name, voice half a shout, half a whisper because it is still too early in the morning, even the elders are not yet awake. The tone is stern and he immediately stops in his tracks, and his heart initially skipped a beat but it is just due to surprise. He knows this surprise is nothing to be scared of.

With a twist of an ankle, Beomgyu turns his body to face the boy who called him. “Kang Taehyun.”

*****

When Beomgyu wakes up, it is to the sight of his room’s white ceiling, a cheek-hurting smile on his lips, and a palm still burning from the sensation and memory of Yeonjun’s touch.

He doesn’t make a move. He stayed still lying on his bed, consciousness starting to slowly seep into his body yet at the same time, some part in him is still holding on to the memories that appeared to him in the form of a dream.

A kind of dream he once wished he wouldn’t wake up from, a kind of dream he once wished he could stay in just so Yeonjun would keep looking into his eyes with familiarity, just so Yeonjun would keep holding him like he’s holding the entire universe in his arms. A few days ago Beomgyu wished he wouldn’t wake up from such dream, but it’s a different day now, and yesterday Beomgyu crossed paths with the older again, and Beomgyu can now start calling him by his name again in this life, and Yeonjun implied that they would still see each other again, and Yeonjun gave him a handkerchief.

A handkerchief.

Beomgyu fully wakes up at this sudden realization, like a lightbulb abruptly flicking on in cartoons, and quickly sits up straight, throwing his blanket away in the process. Right, before he and Yeonjun parted ways yesterday, the older gave him a handkerchief, telling him to ‘not cry’ next time they meet. Which means they’ll meet again. They’ll meet again. They will surely meet again, right?

Doubt lightly brushes his mind until he suddenly remembers that yes, of course they will meet again. They are bound to meet again. It’s what fate had designed for them; that wherever they are, whatever their situation is, they are destined to meet. Even if the other doesn’t remember.

So, the only question that is yet to be answered is when.

The blonde shifts his gaze to the bedside table, hand automatically reaching towards it but this time, instead of grabbing his phone, he carefully picks up the white handkerchief the blue-haired boy gave him. A smile tugs on his face as he remembers the last words the older told him before they split ways. “Silly, of course I won’t cry anymore the next time I see you.” he says, looking at the neatly folded small piece of fabric. “Problem is I don’t know when will be our next time.”

He lifts the handkerchief to his nose and takes a soft sniff, closing his eyes in the process. If Hueningkai catches him like this, he would probably say something about how he looks like a dumb pervert sniffing some stranger’s handkerchief, but that is thankfully not the case. Yeonjun is the farthest from a stranger; Beomgyu is definitely the farthest from a pervert. So he continues to inhale, Yeonjun’s soft scent (contrary to how Beomgyu assumed he would smell like, which is strong body spray, the older actually smells like peaches and fabric softener) swimming in his nostrils as well as the faint scent of… Sharpie?

With careful fingers Beomgyu decides to unfold the fabric, until the quarter is unfolded into a half, until the half is unfolded into a whole, until the handkerchief is completely unraveled, fold marks all over the fabric and black ink contrasting the white.

The handkerchief revealed a note that Yeonjun messily wrote.

“ _ ’I’m sorry you wouldn’t be able to use this, but I had no paper with me so I had to write on this handkerchief. Here’s my number.’ _ ” Beomgyu softly reads the message, and at the bottom of the handkerchief is a series of messily written numbers. Yeonjun’s contact number. “Holy shit.”

The answer to his question ‘when’ is not for fate to answer, but for Beomgyu himself to do so. Fate gave Beomgyu the power to decide when will be their next time.

He drops his hands back to his lap at this, heart thumping in anticipation as scenarios immediately play in his head, slight panic seeping into him as well as he suddenly realized that he has to contact the older soon. The older might even be waiting since last night for his message.

Fuck, Yeonjun was definitely waiting for a text from his last night. Why didn’t he check the handkerchief sooner?

He lets go of the handkerchief and grabs his phone from the bedside table, the screen briefly displaying 9:41 a.m. before Beomgyu unlocks it and enters Yeonjun’s number on the keypad. He saves the number as simply ‘Yeonjun’ and opens the messaging app, but as soon as the keyboard appeared on the screen, Beomgyu’s fingers freeze.

_ What do I say? _

His mind goes blank for a few seconds, but he immediately snaps out of it because not long after, his door knob twists and Soobin pushes the door open, his tall frame taking one step and stopping just right in the doorway, his hair just as messy as his own. “Got no sleep again?” Soobin asks as he noticed Beomgyu staring off into the wall, shifting on his feet to lean against the doorway. Beomgyu turns his head to give Soobin his full attention and the taller raises his eyebrows in surprise. “Oh what’s this? You actually look well for once.”

Beomgyu gives nothing but an eye roll as a response, to which Soobin only chuckles at, eyes crinkling and lips stretching. “Breakfast is prepared, come out.” Soobin says and shuts the door, and only then did Beomgyu notice the scent of pancakes and scrambled egg that evaded his room as well as the very faint pain from his empty stomach. He looks back at his screen, the cursor on the typing box blinking back at him. He needs to say something as soon as possible.

After a minute of choosing between a hi or hello, deciding whether to include emojis or not, pondering whether he should type with proper capitalization or not to because it feels pretentious, Beomgyu settles with a simple  _ ‘good morning! this is choi beomgyu’ _ , fingers shaking as he typed the letters. As soon as he hit send, Beomgyu closed the app and dropped his phone on the bed, fingers shaking and heart pumping too hard.

He’s not expecting an immediate reply, no, the older is most likely still asleep, but the thought of his phone buzzing as the notification of getting one new message from Yeonjun flashes on his screen makes Beomgyu feel tingles in his stomach too early to be felt in the morning. But Beomgyu can wait, Beomgyu is willing to wait, so for now he composes himself, lowers his feet off the bed to the floor and takes his phone with him. Once he was standing up he stretched his limbs for a bit before retreating into a comfortable posture, and then heads out to the living room to see Soobin and Hueningkai already in their usual seats around the dining table.

“Someone had a nice dream.” Soobin comments once Beomgyu has settled in his seat. Hueningkai, this cheeky kid, of course felt the need to egg on this. “Just the fact that he actually got some sleep already amazes me.” the youngest exaggerates. Beomgyu decides to not give them attention, he’s used to this anyway: eating Soobin and Hueningkai’s teasing for breakfast.

“Just eat your pancakes please.” Beomgyu mumbles as he sliced through the pancake with a fork, at the same eyeing his phone that he settled next to his plate every now and then. The taller two definitely noticed this, they took notice of how Beomgyu seems jittery, how Beomgyu’s ears perk at every  _ ding  _ from his phone, how his eyes visibly light up at the same time his screen flashes a notification. The taller two are quick to their senses; immediately associating this behavior to the blue-haired boy Beomgyu was with yesterday outside the café. The only thing Beomgyu told them though is that he’s an old friend, but of course they did not buy that story. The giant opportunity to tease Beomgyu is hard to miss.

“Hyung,” Hueningkai starts, Beomgyu not paying him any attention because he knows the younger is addressing Soobin, not him. “I feel like we should thank blue-haired boy when we meet him.”

The way Beomgyu’s blonde head snaps to Hueningkai gave it all away; Beomgyu is indeed waiting for a message from the blue-haired boy. Soobin and Hueningkai couldn’t help but chuckle at the blonde’s reaction, and Beomgyu only sighs in defeat when he realized what he just did, throwing an eye roll at them in embarrassment. He starts feeling blood creep up to his face, the tips of his ears already feeling hot.

“For real now, even though it’s only been a day you clearly look better than the past week. We all know it’s because of him.” Soobin says, emphasizing the last word. Beomgyu knows Soobin is definitely right, he’s just too embarrassed to admit that he hasn’t been well the past days because of a boy. Beomgyu also knows he can’t lie to Soobin, the taller will definitely see right through him, so he just keeps his mouth shut. Soobin does the opposite though. “We’re not gonna stop until you tell us something.”

“No.”

“Not even a name?” it was Hueningkai’s turn to egg on him. He looks at the younger and the knowing smile on his face. Okay, maybe the name is fine.

Beomgyu once again sighs in defeat. “Yeonjun.”

The two widen their eyes in excitement at this, slightly vibrating in their seats until Soobin stops, pieces of puzzle suddenly clicking together in his mind. “Yeonjun…” Soobin trails in thought. “You mean the one you met in the café?!”

Soobin’s voice was suddenly loud and booming that Beomgyu and Hueningkai couldn’t help but feel surprised as well. The tallest immediately retreats and mutters a sorry as he realized what he just did.

“Why are you so surprised,” Hueningkai answers before Beomgyu can even speak. “Of course it’s him, we saw them yesterday.” Right, Beomgyu and Soobin haven’t told Hueningkai about his first encounter with Yeonjun yet.

“Yes, Soobin hyung, it’s him. And no Kai, we’re talking about a different story.” Hueningkai’s brows immediately knit in confusion at this, looking back and forth between the two for an answer. “Hello? Someone fill me in?”

Beomgyu finishes his pancakes, swallows the last piece he was chewing so he can tell Hueningkai what happened, but as soon as he was about to settle his fork down, his phone dings with another notification. Thinking it’s another email from one of those newsletters he subscribed to he took wasn’t as excited as the previous notifications, but as soon as his eyes read the Hangul letters flashed on his screen his pupils widen and his heart picked up its pace.

**_yeonjun:_ ** _ good morning! sorry for the late reply, I just woke up~ _

The heat fully creeps on his cheeks as he reads the message all over again, finding the use of tilde very endearing, like he can hear the tone of the older’s voice as he read the message. Soobin and Hueningkai threw each other a knowing look. “Wow, you never react like that when we send you a message.” the younger comments, poking at his pancake and takes the last bite.

“Well, next time be reborn as his soulmate so his eyes will light up the way it did when you message him.” Soobin comments, and Hueningkai’s teasing expression dropped before his eyes widened in surprise. “Blue-haired boy is your soulmate?! You found your soulmate?!”

Hueningkai’s voice was too loud to ignore, so Beomgyu tears his eyes away from his phone screen to answer the younger. “No, he found me.” he says. “He found me, but he doesn’t recognize me.” There was an obvious shift in the mood, Soobin remembering how broken Beomgyu was back when they first met again in the café, Hueningkai feeling both confused and bad for him. But for Beomgyu, surprisingly, the words didn’t feel bitter when they left his mouth. It doesn’t hurt that much anymore when he thinks about it. Most likely because he realized that even though Yeonjun doesn’t remember him, he knows to himself that they are destined, and that they can start all over again in this life.

“Don’t look at me like I lost a loved one.” Beomgyu jests, the two obviously confused at his words. “I’m at least happy that we get to see each other again this time.” he further explains, Soobin and Hueningkai trusting his words. Whatever makes Beomgyu happy.

It was quiet for a while, the two finishing what’s left on their plates, all three of them swimming in their own thoughts so the silence was far from uncomfortable. Beomgyu drowning in thoughts thinking of what he should reply to the blue-haired boy, Soobin and Hueningkai seemingly trying to form words in their own heads. The youngest is the first one to finish so. 

“So that’s why you asked if it’s possible for one to not remember their soulmate…” an expression of epiphany contorts on his face as he remembers that conversation they had over breakfast a few mornings ago. “That’s odd. This is the first time I’ve heard something like that happen.”

“Imagine how I felt when I first realized that I’m a stranger to his eyes.” Beomgyu comments. Soobin starts stacking their plates and Hueningkai starts cleaning up the table, Beomgyu immediately mimicking his actions. Soobin is the one assigned to do the dishes today, so Beomgyu and Hueningkai headed for the couch and sat in comfort, the cushion shifting under them every time they moved.

It’s a Saturday, coincidentally, and luckily, all three of them got a schedule where their Saturdays are free. On days like this they either take a rest, continue being productive, or catch up on each other about how their week went. Beomgyu would like to take the whole day to tell Soobin and Hueningkai about all of the memories from Joseon that came back to him as a dream so far, would love to tell them about his adventures with the rich merchant’s son that held stars brighter than those of a night in his eyes, but he receives another message from this life’s Yeonjun and he knows he should definitely spend his Saturday outside this shared apartment of theirs.

**_yeonjun:_ ** _ are u free today? _

**_yeonjun:_ ** _ if u are, lets grab coffee at 3pm _

Beomgyu couldn’t help but let the smile creep on his face. Their next meeting is sooner than he thought; it’s almost as if fate is rushing them to move closer to each other. And Beomgyu is tempted to do so, incredibly tempted to sit down with Yeonjun in that café and tell him everything that they did hundreds of years ago, tell him about the stars, tell him about the guards, tell him about the sunset and the lake, but he doesn’t do that. He won’t do that. He’ll patiently set the pace in a way where they can take things carefully, in a manner where Yeonjun can take his time, in a manner where it all naturally happens, like how he naturally fell for the merchant’s son during the days they were together. Beomgyu knows there is no need to rush. Beomgyu can wait. 

So he sends Yeonjun a simple yes, followed by a few emojis just to make it look more genuine. Not that he isn’t genuine, but it just felt like he had to let the older know. In the meantime, in the few hours he has to stay at home, he tells the taller two some of the anecdotes he’s seen in his sleep.

(“If you’re eyes weren’t sparkling so much, I wouldn’t have believed what you just said.” Soobin comments and takes a bite from the glazed donut after Beomgyu had just told them about that one time he and Yeonjun sneaked out of the palace in broad daylight.

“That story where the guards thought you were thieves is more believable.” Hueningkai adds to Soobin’s sentiments. “Are you really not just making up some romantic action scenarios just to rub on our faces that we haven’t found our soulmate?”

Soobin suddenly starts to let out a series of loud coughs, palm banging on his chest as he tries to compose himself. “Jesus, are you okay? What happened?” Beomgyu pats on Soobin’s back while Hueningkai hands him the half-drunken glass of water. Once Soobin finally got a hold of himself, tears on the corners of his eyes, he speaks. “I was gonna laugh but my body got confused and tried to speak so I inhaled but the air accidentally went to the food passage.”

“Dumb ass.”)

Topic to topic, the three shifted, until it’s almost time for Beomgyu to head out. The watch on his wrist flashed a quarter to three before looking back at his reflection on the mirror, briefly wondering if it looks like he tried too hard before just settling on the current fit, thinking he won’t have time left if he tries to pick and change into a completely new outfit.

The thing is, 2:40 p.m. is definitely still early, the café being less than 10 minutes away from this apartment, yet Beomgyu is already walking out the door, pulling on the hem of his cardigan out of nerves, like a high schooler on his way to meet his crush, which is accurate except for the fact that he is not a high schooler.

The café has more people than usual, Beomgyu concludes that it might be because today is a Saturday. He doesn’t really go here on Saturdays, so the sight of the small place being full is a bit of a new thing to him. His eyes scan the place, hoping to see a blue-haired head which is silly of him because it’s a still a little too early. So instead, his eyes landed on an empty two-seater spot.

He first messages Yeonjun to let him know that he’s already in the café, then proceeds to ask him for his coffee preferences. The older settles with an iced Americano and Beomgyu chooses to settle with the same, despite his tongue not really enjoying the said drink.

After not getting a reply, Beomgyu finally tears his eyes away from the screen and looks up at the barista.

Wide eyes filled with surprise and an emotion he cannot really read looks back at him, lips parted as well. Beomgyu initially feels confused as to why the barista is giving him this look, until his eyes lower down to the guy’s name plate and then suddenly, it all makes sense to him.

“K-Kang Taehyun?”

Beomgyu is certain that the barista recognizes him as well, because otherwise he wouldn’t have reacted like that. For a brief second, Beomgyu thinks that Taehyun is his soulmate, because he’s pretty sure that that’s how he reacted as well when he first saw Yeonjun, but then he realizes that no memories washed down on him, and that Taehyun’s eyes are filled with anything but  _ love _ , even almost near the tones of anger and apology? But that’s just almost, because his eyes quickly shifts into… sadness.

  
  
  



End file.
